


Spiderwebs

by Sasassy



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Sex, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, tattoo worship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 04:02:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7027726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasassy/pseuds/Sasassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“I'm not playing any games, Renji,” Uta breathed.</em>
</p><p>But Renji is still unsure and suspicious of Uta's intentions and still.<br/>He can't stay away from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spiderwebs

**Author's Note:**

> There are no actual spiders in this fics.

Renji liked being an uncle. He liked being a supportive uncle who gave his niece everything she needed to lead a normal life, from being a safety net when she climbed further up than he thought she could handle, to telling her _no_ when he knew she would get hurt.

 

And sometimes it meant staying away from their apartment when a certain old friend slash ghoul investigator showed up on their doorstep, trembling and begging for a private talk with Touka.

 

Renji wasn’t too happy about the new turn of events, but right now there was nowhere else he could go at such short notice. And go he did have to. He was sure that Touka and Ken had a lot to talk about and work through and he didn’t want to risk listening in on them. He wanted Ken to come home as much as Touka wanted it and if it meant staying away to show Ken he could have a safe space all to himself and his needs, then Renji would gladly give him that.

 

He hesitated one more second before he finally gave in and knocked at the door of the already closed mask shop.

He could have just gone in, Uta probably wouldn’t mind, but Renji wasn’t in the mood for showing this level of personal tonight. He just wanted a place to crash and not think about the situation unfolding in their apartment.

 

The door opened, revealing the shop’s owner blinking up at him, surprised.

 

“Renji, what a nice surprise. What’s the occasion?” Uta asked and flashed him one of his relaxed smiles.

 

“Can I sleep here tonight?” he asked, straight to the point, voice monotone and bored. He didn’t want to show that he was close to freaking out inside.

 

“Sure,” was all Uta said before he stepped away from the entrance and let Renji come in, closing the door behind him. “Is there a reason why you want to stay here tonight?”

 

Another smile, this one definitely suggesting.

 

Renji scoffed.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

He hoped the jab would take Uta’s mind off of his question. Renji wasn’t ready to talk about that yet. And talk about Ken with Uta of all people – it would take Renji a long time to be able to do that.

 

Uta seemed almost insulted with his answer. Renji couldn’t find it in him to feel bad about possibly hurting the other’s feelings though. He was still wary of Uta and didn’t trust him further than he could throw him.

 

Uta crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s not what I meant, actually. I was being serious.”

 

“Fine.” Renji gave in. Maybe talking about it would ease his anxiety.

”Touka is having someone over and I wanted to give them some space.”

 

Uta smirked. “Sweet and innocent Touka is finally getting some action, huh? Good for her. It was about time, too, that she moved on from Ka–“

 

“Don’t even think about going there, Uta.” Renji cut him off before he could finish the name. Uta held up his hands in surrender, signalling him that he’d made his point. He could see that he almost made the mistake of crossing an unspoken boundary. He could read it in Renji’s tensed posture and the clench of his jaw. So he caved and held his tongue.

 

They didn’t talk on their way to the back rooms that were Uta’s private lodgings. His loft was tiny, with just the necessities but it was his alone and he liked what he had. He didn’t have much growing up, he had to fight his way through life. It filled him with pride that he could call this place his own, acquired in a legal way.

 

“You know, Renji, Touka is old enough to have a little fun,” Uta said and turned around to lock his eyes with Renji’s. “Don’t worry so much about her, she’ll be fine.”

 

He stepped closer, crowding Renji up against the wall. Renji didn’t react at all, he just stood there, holding Uta’s gaze.

 

“Or is there a reason to be worried? Do you not like her boyfriend? Girlfriend?” No reaction. “Ghoulfriend maybe?”

 

“No!” Renji snapped but he regretted his outburst immediately. Not that he would apologise for it, Uta knew better than to expect that. But an emotional Renji wasn’t too common and he knew that Uta would be able to count the things Renji got emotional over on one hand.

 

It wouldn’t do to reveal his secret. Not yet, anyway.

 

“Why has it got you worked up so much? It’s not the first time Touka has a friend over. But I can basically feel your tension. It’s driving me crazy.” He undid the buttons of Renji's coat and slowly pulled it off his shoulders. “What's wrong?”

 

Renji took a deep breath. “The problem is that I don't know the person she’s with well.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie. He didn’t know this new Ken.

”And I don’t know if she’s in danger or not.”

 

Uta flung Renji’s coat onto a nearby armchair.

“Touka is smart. She won't just get it on with anyone.”

He really should be more mindful of the boundaries, Renji looked about ready to strangle him. “Is it that guy she used to date? You know, that innocent one, when you had to buy con–“

 

“Don't remind me of that. It was embarrassing for all of us.”

 

Uta laughed quietly. He loved that story. It always dusted the other man's cheeks with a delicious pink.

 

“They broke up after a few dates. And it's not him,” Renji finally said after his blush had died down.

 

“What about that girl from university? The one that hangs out at :re all the time?”

 

“It's not like that. They're friends.”

 

“Well, maybe they are having a ladies' night. No guys allowed,” Uta suggested and leaned further into the other man, their chest now touching.

 

“It’s not her. It’s – what do you think you're doing?”

 

“Me? Nothing. I’m just making conversation.” Uta looked up at Renji, eyes burning a bright red.

 

“I'm not in the mood for your twisted games, Uta.”

 

“I'm not playing any games, _Renji_ ,” Uta breathed and he stretched up to catch Renji’s lips in a lingering kiss.

 

They weren’t perfect, they had messed up pasts that reflected in their messed up relationship. But for Uta, Renji was the only thing he'd never willingly fuck up just for shits and giggles.

He was never playing games when it came to his Raven.

 

Renji pulled back first, unsurprisingly.

It was always like this nowadays, Uta making the first move and Renji recoiling. Uta knew Renji didn’t quite trust him yet after he had come clean about his affiliations with the Clowns, even though Uta was gathering information for him, but he was patient. He could wait for the trust to return.

 

Renji was avoiding his glance now, but he didn’t push him away. Uta took it as a sign to continue, he probably wouldn’t get any more. He kissed the taller man again, pressing closer and fisted his hands in the fitted shirt the other wore. This time, Renji didn’t break away.

 

Instead, his hands came up to hold Uta’s waist delicately. Uta smiled contently into the kiss. His Raven was such a sap deep down.

 

When they had to finally break for air, Uta once again took the initiative and pulled Renji towards his bedroom, discarding his shirt at the door.

Renji was annoyed for a second. That wasn’t what he came over for. But seeing Uta like this, shirtless and waiting for him on his bed, he just couldn’t say no.

 

Still, Renji pretended to hesitate and stood at the door, eyes focused on a crack in the wall. He could sense Uta growing impatient and he enjoyed the feeling. He liked being wanted, he couldn’t deny that. Even if he was angry at Uta and couldn’t shake his suspicions that the shady mask maker was lying about something.

 

Renji decided that he’d waited long enough and slowly walked towards the bed, still denying Uta the eye contact he constantly sought.

 

As soon as he’d reached the edge of the bed, Uta sprang up and pushed him down on it, straddling his hips and started to kiss him in one fluid motion. Renji didn’t mind being manhandled, he actually enjoyed it. There weren’t many people who could manage to do that and Uta liked showing him just how equal they were strength-wise, despite their differences in built.

 

Uta broke the kiss with a nip to Renji’s lower lip and hummed in appreciation. He pulled Renji up and struggled to drag his shirt over his head, tickling his waist and ruffling his hair in the process.

 

“You and your tight shirts,” he mumbled into Renji’s neck, his hot breath and lips teasing the sensitive skin there. “So annoying.”

 

Renji smirked. Uta always complained that he couldn’t get them off quickly enough, but the way he always stared at his torso and licked his lips when Renji moved around told him he secretly enjoyed the hell out of them.

 

Uta nuzzled him a bit longer, occasionally licking and nipping at his pulse point and collarbone before moving down his chest.

 

Renji enjoyed watching him, observing the way he languidly moved and how the muscles in his arms and back flexed. He was so graceful, all rippling slender muscles and sinewy strength. He wasn’t satisfied yet, though. He brought his hands up to Uta’s head, carefully pulling the hairband from his bun and smoothed his hair down. His hair had gotten so long in the last months, it almost fell past his shoulders now. Renji wove his fingers through the silky strands.

 

That was better.

 

_Beautiful._

He’d never dare to say it out loud though, Uta would probably laugh at him. People like them weren’t to be considered beautiful. Not in that sense at least.

 

Uta’s shoulder blades rolled as he ducked further down Renji’s torso and Renji couldn’t help but stick by his words. Uta was as beautiful as a lioness ready to jump her clueless prey, elegant strength barely contained by smooth skin and soft hair.

 

Uta was a dangerously beautiful as a burning fire and Renji couldn’t stop being fascinated by his primal urge to get closer and touch the flames, even though he knew he could get burnt badly in the process.

 

Maybe he didn’t care.

 

A vicious bite to his hipbone brought him back from his thoughts. Blood welled up at the bite and Uta slowly dragged his tongue along the wound, catching the droplets and savouring the taste. He wasn’t fond of eating ghouls, he didn’t fancy their taste at all, but Renji was an exception.

 

He tasted magnificent.

 

“I could just eat you up, Raven,” Uta breathed along his belly, licking the trail of hair there.

 

“Touka would kill you for that, you know,” Renji half-joked. She would try, that’s for sure, but Uta was stronger than her.

 

Uta just shrugged and busied himself ridding Renji of his jeans and underwear.

“I wouldn’t dare. Whatever would I do without you, _darling_?”

 

And that was as much of an acknowledgement of feelings as both of them would ever get.

 

They didn’t know what it was, this thing between them. They weren’t _in love_ , but neither were they just in lust. They didn’t date, and one would strangle the other for even thinking about the term boyfriend, but it was more than casual hook-ups. Even the label of friends sat unwell with them. Both felt like they were something different.

 

It was a mess. But it felt too good to ask too many question or jeopardise whatever the hell _that_ was.

Not being able to properly describe it was something they’d accepted way back in their early days, when they first started not trying to kill each other.

 

Uta was standing up now, never breaking eye contact and got rid of his remaining clothes too, laying down on top of Renji when he was done. He stretched lazily on him, bringing his lips close but not kissing him. Renji circled the lithe torso of Uta, marvelling at his smaller frame and pulled him even closer, basking in the familiar warmth and scent the other emitted.

 

“You are so sappy, it’s ridiculous,” Uta finally chuckled and leaned in for a kiss, slipping his tongue inside Renji’s mouth, teasing his own with it. The words didn’t have any bite but Renji still pinched his side hard, provoking a rather loud and undignified yelp from Uta.

 

“Don’t say shit like that or we’re done here,” he said, but they both knew it was an empty threat. Renji knew that he was the affectionate type in these situations and he could live with it. He didn’t mind Uta calling him out for it, either. Besides, Uta was just as sappy, when he was in the mood, even if he tried to mask it as jokes, so Renji didn’t take it as an insult.

 

Their lips met again, urgency replacing any refined techniques they might have had before. When they broke for air, Renji flicked his tongue against the silver ring in Uta’s lip and watched with satisfaction as his eyes fluttered closed.

Uta’s weight suddenly disappeared and Renji blinked in confusion, the air feeling too chilly on his heated skin.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked and propped himself up on his elbows to get a better look at the other.

 

“Nothing’s wrong, I just need to get – ah, there it is.” Uta held up a bottle and smiled suggestively. “I should have fetched this earlier. Such a mood killer.” He tutted at himself before straddling Renji again.

He flicked the cap of the bottle open and slowly trickled lube onto his fingers. Renji watched him, entranced by the slender digits that could craft such creative masterpieces and kill a person the next second. He still remembered the agony of being on the receiving end of Uta’s deadly strength. He definitely didn’t miss those times.

 

“Want me to do it?” Renji mumbled and averted his eyes, refusing to let Uta see how much of a turn on his _hands_ were. Though, he could probably feel that anyway with the way they were pressed together.

 

Uta just reached behind himself, squirmed a bit and exhaled softly an instant later. “I’m good, but come up here.”

 

Renji complied immediately and sat up, once again snaking his arms around Uta’s torso, fingers splayed wide on hot skin to support his softly undulating form, and rested his head on Uta’s breastbone. He listened to the other’s racing heartbeat while he prepped himself and his eyes fell onto the sun tattooed on Uta’s left pectoral. Renji remember the day he got it. It was actually his first tattoo.

 

A friend of them had done it after they’d figured out how to make a functional tattoo needle out of stolen quinque steel. Uta had whined about normal tatoo needles being too weak to pierce his skins for weeks and Renji had thought about strangling him more than once.

 

Uta had been giddy like a child as their tattoo experience finally succeeded. Renji had been there and watched the whole process, silently observing while Uta doodled the design and the other guy did the rest. It had taken way too long for Renji’s liking but the result was satisfying enough. Uta had absolutely loved it. That night Renji had run his tongue over the design countless times, trying to decide if it tasted different from the rest of Uta’s skin.

 

It quickly became a habit, Uta coming to him after he got a new tattoo, showing it off and waiting for Renji to caress and taste it.

 

There wasn’t a new one since the last time they’d slept together, so Renji reacquainted himself with the sun, lips stroking and tongue dragging over the symbol. Uta’s free hand came up to Renji’s head, fingers threading into the silver hair and pulling gently. When Renji was satisfied with the sheen of spit left, he moved on to the other designs but ignored the one he knew Uta would want him to touch the most. He’d leave that one for later. He always did.

 

It didn’t take long for Uta to be ready and he removed his fingers to finally sink down on Renji with a low groan, assuming their usual position. Uta loved riding him and Renji loved seeing Uta moving atop him, enjoying himself.

 

When he was fully seated, they both held still, panting, holding onto each other, breathing each other in. Soon enough Uta began to slowly move, his hips flexing and thighs clenching around Renji’s sides. The mask maker’s quiet and husky moans filled Renji’s ears, going straight to his groin.

 

It was nice, for a long second, a tender moment, before the intimacy of the act got overwhelming, smothering Renji and making him fidget with unease.

 

This was too close, too intimate, too together.

 

He couldn’t deal with it.

 

He didn’t trust Uta. He couldn’t believe his promises and pretty lies any longer.

 

He couldn’t get caught up with him again, like he did all those years ago. Uta was like a spider, one moment of unawareness and Renji would get wrapped up in his deadly web, about to be eaten alive. He needed to get away, get space – get Uta away from himself.

 

Renji shoved Uta off, dislodging their connection, and he tried to be careful but firm anyway. Uta made a noise of protest as he was shoved face first into the mattress.

 

“What the _fuck_ , Renji?” His voice was muffled but his rising anger was unmistakable.

 

Renji didn’t answer, instead he helped Uta up on his knees and re-entered him, painstakingly slow. The angry glare out of blazing red eyes soon vanished and melted into heavy lids and fluttering lashes as Renji thrust deeply and with precision, seeking out Uta’s prostate with a vengeance. He knew he’d successfully distracted Uta when his tattooed hands braced against the wall to hold himself upright and get enough leverage to move back against Renji’s hips. Renji leaned against Uta, covering his smaller frame with his broader one, chest to back, one hand spread over the sun, the other on Uta’s lower belly, holding him in place.

 

They took it slow, the deliciously languid push and pull setting their nerves aflame, just the way they both preferred it. Words weren’t needed anymore, not when Renji’s pants, Uta’s soft moans and the bedsprings creaking were enough noise to fill the room.

 

At some point Uta flipped his mussed hair over his right shoulder, baring his neck for Renji to tend to. He didn’t wait any longer and latched onto the soft skin, sucking, marking Uta as his.

 

Uta squirmed, his throaty moans turning into higher-pitched whines as Renji traced the letters along his neck with his tongue. Uta never confirmed, but Renji knew that tattoo was meant for him. He’d known the moment Uta had shown it to him, without any explanation as to what it meant beyond the mere translation.

 

It fit too perfectly to not be meant for him.

 

They were poison for each other, Uta way too cunning and possibly wrapped up in shady business, Renji too sensitive and thriving for peace. And still, they couldn’t stay away from each other.

 

Maybe they didn't want to, neither had ever tried seriously.

 

Renji shook the thought off, instead focusing again on Uta's body clenching around him, moving with him.

Painted black nails dug into his forearms and a pale hand dragged his larger one to his groin, signalling that playtime was over. Renji's lip curled into a smile against Uta's cheek.

 

He was always inclined to call the shots, even with a dick up his ass.

 

Still, Renji complied and wrapped his hand around Uta’s leaking cock and picked up the speed of his thrusts.

Every push was meant with a desperate rut of hips, accompanied by raspy gasps and scrambling fingernails. Renji’s breath hitched at the sheer ecstasy of having Uta at his mercy like this.

 

It didn’t take long until Uta’s whole body went rigid and he came over their joined hands, burning eyes clenched shut and mouth falling open in a silent scream. Renji followed quickly after, hips stuttering to a halt and lips pressed to Uta’s cheek, nuzzling his face like the mushy idiot he was. His tongues lolled out to taste the salt on Uta’s skin only to be drawn into a sloppy kiss. Their lax mouths crashed together as the last waves of their orgasms ebbed away and their chests heaved with rapid breaths.

 

Sooner than he wanted to, Renji slipped out of Uta and let himself drop to the side, trying not to crush his partner. He was exhausted, but not exhausted enough to not be cautious of too much contact in such an intimate moment. It could be fatal for him if he showed Uta how much he cared. It would only backfire sooner or later.

 

Uta just collapsed straight down onto his stomach, hair flung everywhere, face half-buried in a pillow. Without a care in the world. Ready to take up as much space and make as much body contact as possible.

 

The complete opposite of Renji.

 

 One almost closed eye was fixed on Renji. They spent the next minutes trying to catch their breath, Renji stubbornly ignoring the other’s intent gaze on him.

 

After some time Uta propped himself up on his elbows and started snickering.

“What was that about not flattering myself earlier?” he asked and grinned mischievously.

 

“Shut up,” Renji murmured grumpily and moved to get up. He hadn’t been lying earlier. He really wasn’t in the mood for Uta’s little games.

 

“Where are you going?”

Uta actually looked alarmed. Good.

 

“Just getting something to clean us up,” he replied, the urge to just up and leave immediately suddenly gone. Renji wiggled his sticky hand in front of Uta’s face. Hopefully that would get rid of his own confused feelings and maybe even get a rise out of Uta. Renji knew that he didn’t like to get dirty. But Uta just scrunched his nose up a little and grabbed Renji’s hand. He brought it up to his mouth as his tongue darted out. Renji had to close his eyes at the display. When Uta was done licking Renji’s hand clean, he wiped it with one of his own tank tops for good measure.

Only now did Renji notice the chaotic state of the bedroom, clothes and drawings flung everywhere.

 

“You are filthy,” Renji told him but took the proffered shirt anyway. He helped clean Uta’s hand and stomach, as well as his ass before flopping down on the bed once more.

 

He wouldn’t do Uta the courtesy of cleaning him up with his tongue, no matter how much he wanted to.

 

“You know I am.” The grin on his lips was positively dirty.

 

“Stop flirting. You disgust me.” He flicked the other’s lip piercing with his finger and ignored the indignant glare directed at him.

 

It was true, he was disgusted.

 

Not by Uta’s flirting, though. He rather enjoyed that, but he was disgusted by himself. He was falling for it again, Uta’s con that lured him into his deadly web and he was just rolling with it like an idiot. Like he didn’t know better. Renji was convinced that the other ghoul was hiding something possibly dangerous and he still couldn’t keep his distance.

 

“Aren’t you proud of me?” Uta asked with fake innocence and batted his lashes.

 

“What for?”

 

He smiled and traced a finger along the bite mark on Renji’s hip. “I didn’t leave any marks in visible places this time. So Touka won’t _scold_ you.”

 

“I do work in customer service. I need to look presentable.”

Which wasn’t a complete lie, but he couldn’t really tell Uta why Touka really got angry at him. He couldn’t just say that Touka was very anti-Uta at the moment, without disclosing the conspiracy theory she had come up with. The conspiracy theory of Uta double-crossing them and working for the Clowns in earnest. The conspiracy theory every single one believed and Renji couldn’t completely shake.

 

“You always do, Raven.” Uta leaned over to him and kissed his lips sweetly.

 

Renji was confused. Was he playing him again or was he, for once, actually being honest about his feelings? The thought made his head throb – and his heart twinge – so he just tossed it. He’d had enough Uta-induced migraines to last him for a lifetime already and he was barely in his thirties.

 

Silence settled and Renji finally felt the bone-deep tiredness that wasn’t entirely due to their earlier activities. It had been a long day and he just wanted to sleep now. He wasn’t too happy about sharing a bed with Uta though. They hadn’t done this in years. As if he’d read his mind, Uta just turned off the lights with the switch next to his bed and looked expectantly at Renji.

 

“Do you mind?” he asked quietly, almost timidly and confusion hit Renji once more with full capacity. He shook his head and Uta crawled over to him, curling up into his side and rested his head in the crook of his neck. Renji wrapped his arms around Uta and held him, painfully aware of the other's nose rubbing against his clavicle tenderly and hair tickling his neck. Renji drifted off to sleep with only one thought in his head.

 

_Shit._

 

**Author's Note:**

> So.  
> I wrote this over a year ago for a multichapter fic I will never finish or post ~~because it's competely obsolete now dammit ishida~~ but I thought if I re-write it to stand alone, it might work. And somehow it turned out even more angsty than the first draft.  
>  Oh well.


End file.
